Presidents and Aliens

Should I Vote For...

THIS GUY?

THIS GUY?

OR THIS GUY?...

Wow! I just watched an entire show about all the technologies the world has achieved because of the Roswell UFO crash. Did you know we got fiber optic cable, lasers, cell phones, personal computers, and bullet proof vests from information that was gleaned from an alien space ship? It has to be true because of the head of the UFO society proved it. Did you also know that Barrack Obama's campaign was supported by terrorists in Pakistan, and John McCain is going to take away all types of Health Care for Americans? It has to be true because someone sent me an email that said it was true. What are the similarities between the two? Information with an opinion attached.
I am getting so tired of sorting out what is true and what is fake when it comes to our Presidential Candidates. I feel like I've been eating, sleeping, breathing political fodder for, like, 2 years! Enough is enough! Let's just vote and be done with it. I'm sick of politics. Give me a good Brangelina story, or a Brittany melt down. These are things that I can choose to gossip about without offending anyone.
What unites us as U.S. Citizens? Complaining and making fun of people of course. I want to stop debating about Democrats and Republicans, Obama and McCain, and start making fun of the true Hollywood idiots again. I want to stand in line at the grocery store and complain about the slowness of the line or the price of the milk I'm buying, and not discuss the economic crisis. I want to walk into the gas station and exchange a look with someone about the crazy weirdo using the pay phone outside, and not exchange an "I can't believe I just sold my soul for a full tank of gas" look. I am ready to walk into the polls on Election Day and vote for Elmo, because at least he would be cute as he ruined the economy, fueled the energy crisis, opened 7,000 Charter schools, put in school vouchers, and took away my health care. So I am done with the debates, the news stories, and the commercials telling me to vote for one candidate or another. Let's just do it already!
At least we can take comfort in the fact that the aliens are watching us from above, ready to bestowe a technology that will save us all in the end. Right?

Holy Halloween Batman!

I've gotten into this bad and somewhat weird habit of wanting to play Lego Playstation games. My oldest and I have enjoyed hours of Lego Batman of late. Those Lego people are ingenious with mixing humor and downright fun gaming. The other night however, I got way too into the game and completely forgot that I had a one year old I should be checking on often. He kept coming in and out of the room, so I didn't think anything of it until he came in with chocolate all over his face and a mile wide smile from ear to ear. So I take the rest of the candy bar away, wash him up, and pick up the playstation paddle just in time to fight cat woman. It is only about a minute later when, lo and behold there is Andy with another candy bar. Check out the pics of how Andy was acquiring his candy bar stash. I had forgotten I had filled up our candy holder entirely. I guess I better wait to put out the candy until it is actually Halloween. Oh, and I should also quit playing video games.

Chocolate Face

More Candy Mommy?

He, he, he...Mommy will never know :0)

Andy is getting so smart! He is also saying so many words and speaking his own language lately. The other night he kept saying "I yunt Bamba" and we thought it was so cute that he was asking for his grandpa. He kept saying it and saying it until it wasn't so cute anymore, but still I was so proud that he liked grandpa so much. Pretty soon Ty comes in and flips on the TV right when the 'SpongeBob' theme song is playing. Andrew comes running in with his cheesy smile on his face, points to the TV and says "BamBa!" Yeah, my son loves SpongeBob and not his grandpa. Oh well, sorry Grandpa!

The Ageless Jordan Family

I've seen this website on other blogs and thought I would check it out myself. It's www.yearbookyourself.com. This site provided hours (well, hour anyway)of enjoyment for my family. The kids were laughing so loudly that Jerry had to check it out himself. These our some of the fun pics we made.

This was the family favorite! Ty is McFly!

Micky looks WAY to old for this 1950's photo

Wow, what a stud! Jerry looks great with 70's hair :)

My Personal Favorite Straight from the 80's

Seventies Hottie

If I were a sixties babe!

New Twilight Movie Trailer

Not to sound too Mormon Mom-ish, but there is a new Twilight Movie Trailer out that has me wanting to add a movie countdown to my blog. There is something just hot about dating a vampire. Anyway, check it out at:

http://www.twilightthemovie.com/ecard_widget/

(I know there is a way to make it a direct link, but alas, I don't know how without making it an html link. So copy, paste in the address box, and enjoy!)

Speed Demon

I guess I will never learn my lesson. What can I say? I like to drive fast. I listen to music and push on my gas pedal a little too hard and I like it. I love to roll down the windows on a cool night and feel the wind whip through my hair. I love watching the signs fly past and the telephone poles zip by. I should have been a race car driver, but we all can't be Danica Patrick, so every once in a while I pretend.
My only problem with this addiction are the many tickets I have received with this passion. It just doesn't seem fair. Now some of these tickets are well deserved, and frankly I lucked out that the policeman was nice enough to say I was only going ten over, when really it was more like 15 or 20. However, a few have totally not been my fault. For instance the time when my husband 'inherited' his grandma's "Ghetto Car", as we so lovingly nick-named it. I had to go somewhere and our other car was broken, so my hubby tells me to just take it. My brother-in-law has been driving it for a year with an expired registration. What is the harm, right? Wrong! I was on the road for a total of 5 minutes before I got pulled over and threatened to have my car impounded as my children cried in the back seat that mommy was being sent to prison. Now these things are not my fault. It is just my bad luck.
I must admit right now that my latest ticket, however, is totally and utterly my fault. I'm on my way to pick up my youngest who is being babysat at the 'Snack Shack' at a football game(long story). In my defense, I am stressed out because it is cold and he doesn't have a jacket, so I am driving a little over the speed limit to go pick him up. Now most people would know that the new police station is right across the street from the High School,but I am oblivious to this fact, so I speed. Sure enough, I spot the cop a bit late, slam on my brakes (making me look not guilty at all, right?), and swerve. So not only am I a speeder, but a reckless driver as well. I pull over even before he turns his lights on and watch as he walks to my car. 'Are you okay, maam?' he asks. And I am thinking this is a strange question until I realize that he thinks I am drunk. I don't know what it is, but even thinking that someone thinks I am guilty makes me feel guilty. I am wondering if maybe I am drunk and just don't know it. So I say, 'I think so?' as I shakily try to get my driver's license out of the stupid tiny pockets they make in wallets for your license. It takes me about two minutes to get it out, and I try not to curse so I look like a nice,frazzled, mormon mom. Finally I hand it over and rifle through the bazillion papers in my glove box looking for the registration information and hand it over as well. I am acting like such an idiot that I am sure he is going to have me walking the line any moment. But I luck out. This has got to be one of the nicest policemen of all time. (I would say 'the nicest' if he hadn't given me a ticket). He asks, "So were you late to pick someone up, or having a bad day, or what?" I tell him my story about the babysitter (and remember that it is a long one), and he nicely lets me off with writing the ticket as if I was only going 10 over. He explains to me that I can go to traffic school 'right over there' and points to a building only about 50 yards away. 'That's the new police station' he smirks. So I have won the right to go to traffic school and the right to wear a stamp on my forehead that says, "I am an idiot".
Oh well, lesson learned, and the lesson is this: It is okay to speed, but it is not okay to speed 50 yards from the new police station.










The Police Station under construction. This is about where I was when I got pulled over. BOO HOO, ME!

Horrors!

I came to a gross realization today. I...Am...A...Geek. I truly am. I am the band geek that never joined the band. That is exactly how I feel today. These are my conclusive reasons for being a geek
A) I listen to and love weird music. I sometimes crank Ella Fitzgerald and Doris Day in my car. I actually love putting on my headphones and turning up "Ballads"; Meatloaf, Aerosmith, Bon Jovi: the really great Hair Band love songs of the eighties. I also don't mind listening to the bubble gum pop my kids listen to. I actually like listening to it, but say I had to download it off of itunes for them.
B) I like to watch Disney Channel sitcoms. I think 'The Suite Life' and 'Wizards of Waverly Place' are funny TV shows. I don't watch cartoons because of my children. I truly like watching cartoons. It's really pathetic.
C) I wear the ugliest glasses ever made. They are like a cross between "the fifties" working man and some eighties couture model. I've worn glasses since I was in third grade, and I have tried to convince myself that it makes me look smart, but I am sorely mistaken. They definitely make me look like a geek.
D) I like to dance. I pretend I am good at it and that I'm a cool mom for dancing with my kids. However, as I was "trying" to dance the other day with a couple of students, I realized that I looked like my mom when she would try to dance with us. I'm getting to be an older person who should never embarrass my children by trying to show of my "awesome" dance moves. (As a matter of fact, I think even using the word "awesome" makes me a geek.)
E)I sing really loud in my car, and I am sure that other people have noticed it. I groove and get into it and don't even think about it. Today I passed someone on the road doing the same thing, and thought to myself, "What a weirdo", of course it took me a minutes to realize that I had to stop singing myself to notice this. I have now taken a vow to never do it again, and to be honest, it makes me sad. I like doing it and will probably still practice in the safety of my own home.
and Last but not least F) I used to get really mad that when my best friend in high school and I would double date, I always got the ugly, dorky one. "Why do I always get stuck with him?" I would ask myself. Then I realized recently that they were thinking the same thing. I was the ugly, geeky friend they were getting stuck with. GASP! What goes around comes around I guess.
Therefore, I am taking an oath today to try to stop being geeky. I am doing it in the name of my children, who I will undoubtedly embarrass if I keep up my antics. However, no one can stop me from putting on my full nerdy bravado when in private. So if you're going to visit, please call first, and I will hide my black rim glasses, stash my meatloaf CD at the back of my closet, and quickly flip over to "Dancing with the Star". After all, I have my reputation to protect. :0)

The Office

Okay, so I just posted something, and as quick as I could, by the way, so I wouldn't miss 'The Office', my whole reason for loving Thursday Nights. When what do I see, but the Vice-Presidential debate. Oh Snap! I mean, what does the Vice-President really do, but wait for the President to kick the bucket? I do have to say that I was impressed with Palin. She is my kind of woman! I can't help it, I like her. However, I don't like her enough to miss seeing my favorite show! To ease my sadness I popped in my season four DVD (which I haven't seen every episode of yet). There is something about the theme music to this sitcom that just makes my heart happy. I love it. Don't ask me why! I think if I ever fell into a deep, dark, prozac-needing kind of depression they wouldn't have to put me on meds. I could just put the theme music to 'The Office' on a little CD player and have it run every half hour. I think this comes from my pregnancy and having a baby. I didn't get into 'The Office' until a couple of years ago. When I was sick and basically not wanting to leave my bed, I watched all the episodes starting from season one. And in the midst of breast-feeding hell (How do people call that natural?) I would watch episodes. They would always cheer me up and make me laugh until I almost peeped my pants (something easy to do when pregnant). I think, when I hear the theme music, its like an unopened present that I know has something great inside. I just can't wait to turn it on and get lost in Scranton for a little while. Well, I gotta run, I'm re-watching the 'Run for Rabies' Episode.

Grateful for the Little Things

I came home from work yesterday to a semi-clean house. I hired a housekeeper, which lasted for about two weeks before my husband just about had a heart attack over the cost of housekeeping. He said he would vacuum the house for eighty dollars every two weeks. Ah yeah, we'll see about that. Anyway, needless to say, my house is recovering itself to its normal, chaotic, craziness, and I am on strike. I really want to see my hubby actually clean the whole house all at once. Then I will pay him eighty dollars. So imagine my surprise to come home to a minimally clean house. I was just about to call and thank him when my six year old, Micky, comes walking out of her bedroom, apron around the waste. "I cleaned the kitchen, the basement, Andy's bedroom, and I'm working on my room." I'm thinking to myself, "Okay, what did she do, that she is trying to make up for?" But I look at her huge grin and the pride she has when pointing out all of her cleaning, and I don't care. My little Micky seriously made my entire day, all by herself. So I gave her a gigantic hug, and about 50 cents (a lot cheaper than eighty dollars), and honestly smiled as I made dinner, something I haven't done in a long time. (Dinner and I are not good friends.) I can say that her one little act of kindness made the whole night great for everyone in my house. I gotta love her! Of course, it wasn't until I was going to bed that night that I found the empty Pringles canister that she had eaten ALL BY HERSELF, but hey, you can't have it all, can you?