Friday, March 27, 2009

The First Tiny Babystep

If you read my bucket list post you know that one of the things I posted was to get a book published, so I just joined a Writer's Group and had my first meeting with other fellow wanna-be authors. I have to! (You were expecting a sarcastic comment weren't you?) I had one of those "Wow, I'm right where I should be" kind-of moments. Everyone was so funny and talented and gave such great feedback. I am really excited about it. For once in my life I said I am going to do something, and I am actually working to do it. I am currently working on my first YA novel and am loving it. I wish I had more time to concentrate without getting up to get drinks and break up fights every two seconds, but you know those are the dangers of doing stuff for yourself when you are a mom. Also, I am in charge of our meeting next month and have to come up with an agenda and things for us to do and work on in our writing. Anyone have any good suggestions?

Sunday, March 22, 2009

200 and Counting...Grey Hairs That Is

My whole life I have always thought that I would grow old gracefully. As a 17 minus high school student I pretty much pictured myself looking like those old ladies on TV with pristine skin and white, perfectly manicured hair that could still do the splits in their sixties. I was looking forward to being old enough that I could say whatever I wanted, rude or otherwise, and people would just say, "Oh, she's just no attention to her". As this has begun to occur however, I want to go back to that young and totally unappreciative girl and slap her silly.
So about a year ago, I found my first grey hair. No big deal. I pulled it out and tossed it carelessly into the garbage. I didn't realize that this grey hair had friends and that they would be angry for the loss of their brother. (I assume that a grey hair would be male-I don't know why) The grey hair family has now launched an assault on my head in retaliation, and I have to admit I hate it! How can the rest of your hairs be so soft and pleasant and those grey hair ones so coarse and hard to pull out? Every time I take a shower there is all this hair in the drain, but strangely enough not even one is a grey hair. It's like they have a mind of their own and really strong grips, which is probably why I assume they are male. I also have not been able to make it into my hair dresser who has been on vacation, so I have a large landing strip down the middle of my head and the grey hairs are shining beacons of light down the sides of it. Truly Hideous!
As if the grey hair army is not enough, the wrinkles have also formed an alliance with the grey hair generals and are marching a frontal assault right between my eyes. Suddenly every time I look in the mirror I find a new little canyon forming. Can anyone say Botox? Or more importantly can anyone tell me where the free Botox fairy lives? I will admit that I never wanted Botox before, but that was when I naive, stupid, and still thinking that I would grow old gracefully. How is it that my morning beauty regime five years ago was this...And now my morning regime consists of this? Yep growing old is expensive.
The final old age problem is my legs. I have the most aweful, horrible, ugly legs you have ever seen. (No, a picture will not be included here) Varicose veins would be shouting a "We're not worthy" at the monstrosities on my legs. I will admit right now that I have not worn shorts in over five years because of this. (Yes, I am that woman wearing long pants at the swimming pool.) I even went to Vegas last year and wore jeans in 105 degree heat. So... finally I am doing something about it. I have an appointment in one week to start getting my legs fixed.
YAY ME! This summer might be my first summer in five years that I wear shorts. My daughter encouraged me even further by telling me, "Wow mom, you could actually buy a cute skirt for once." This was right after her comment of, "You're getting the purple lines fixed? What are you going to do about the fat?" So daughter...I am setting a wonderful example for you right now. The example being "Only try to change the things that you can pay to fix", oh and I might need to add Lipo to my list of fixables.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Celebrity my *BEEP*

If you know me at all, you know I am a major celebrity gossip junkie. I buy People magazine on a regular basis (still can't commit myself to the $60 yearly rate though), I watch celebrity Extra all the time. I am usually minor obsessed with what they are up to and how their lives are going.


Lately I am a little disgusted with Celebrity Hype. How many awards shows do you have to have to pat yourself on the back?

I want an Educator Academy Award. And the award for the best comeback to a student comment goes to..., And the award for holding your pee the longest goes to..., And the award for executing with perfection a completely unplanned lesson goes to...
You see what I mean? NO ONE else has so many awards to congratulate themselves for doing...uh...THEIR JOB!

I am also a little angry that in these times, when the economy is horrible and we are all limiting our grocery shopping trips to Mac and Cheese and Raman Noodles, we get people dressing like this...

Now I know Miley is a teen idol, but what the _? And also what is up with this...
Did she clear out the total currency of a third world country for these monstrosities? I think these earrings are worth more than my house!

So celebrities, quit patting yourself on the back because you actually did what you are supposed to do, and quit flaunting your money to the world! I am now boycotting going out to the movies for at least the next week to show my distaste of the status quo. Honestly people quit giving your business to these people. Now I gotta go...Celebrity Apprentice starts in 2 minutes!