The First Tiny Babystep

If you read my bucket list post you know that one of the things I posted was to get a book published, so I just joined a Writer's Group and had my first meeting with other fellow wanna-be authors. I have to say...It...was...so...much...fun! (You were expecting a sarcastic comment weren't you?) I had one of those "Wow, I'm right where I should be" kind-of moments. Everyone was so funny and talented and gave such great feedback. I am really excited about it. For once in my life I said I am going to do something, and I am actually working to do it. I am currently working on my first YA novel and am loving it. I wish I had more time to concentrate without getting up to get drinks and break up fights every two seconds, but you know those are the dangers of doing stuff for yourself when you are a mom. Also, I am in charge of our meeting next month and have to come up with an agenda and things for us to do and work on in our writing. Anyone have any good suggestions?

200 and Counting...Grey Hairs That Is

My whole life I have always thought that I would grow old gracefully. As a 17 minus high school student I pretty much pictured myself looking like those old ladies on TV with pristine skin and white, perfectly manicured hair that could still do the splits in their sixties. I was looking forward to being old enough that I could say whatever I wanted, rude or otherwise, and people would just say, "Oh, she's just old...pay no attention to her". As this has begun to occur however, I want to go back to that young and totally unappreciative girl and slap her silly.
So about a year ago, I found my first grey hair. No big deal. I pulled it out and tossed it carelessly into the garbage. I didn't realize that this grey hair had friends and that they would be angry for the loss of their brother. (I assume that a grey hair would be male-I don't know why) The grey hair family has now launched an assault on my head in retaliation, and I have to admit I hate it! How can the rest of your hairs be so soft and pleasant and those grey hair ones so coarse and hard to pull out? Every time I take a shower there is all this hair in the drain, but strangely enough not even one is a grey hair. It's like they have a mind of their own and really strong grips, which is probably why I assume they are male. I also have not been able to make it into my hair dresser who has been on vacation, so I have a large landing strip down the middle of my head and the grey hairs are shining beacons of light down the sides of it. Truly Hideous!
As if the grey hair army is not enough, the wrinkles have also formed an alliance with the grey hair generals and are marching a frontal assault right between my eyes. Suddenly every time I look in the mirror I find a new little canyon forming. Can anyone say Botox? Or more importantly can anyone tell me where the free Botox fairy lives? I will admit that I never wanted Botox before, but that was when I naive, stupid, and still thinking that I would grow old gracefully. How is it that my morning beauty regime five years ago was this...And now my morning regime consists of this? Yep growing old is expensive.
The final old age problem is my legs. I have the most aweful, horrible, ugly legs you have ever seen. (No, a picture will not be included here) Varicose veins would be shouting a "We're not worthy" at the monstrosities on my legs. I will admit right now that I have not worn shorts in over five years because of this. (Yes, I am that woman wearing long pants at the swimming pool.) I even went to Vegas last year and wore jeans in 105 degree heat. So... finally I am doing something about it. I have an appointment in one week to start getting my legs fixed.
YAY ME! This summer might be my first summer in five years that I wear shorts. My daughter encouraged me even further by telling me, "Wow mom, you could actually buy a cute skirt for once." This was right after her comment of, "You're getting the purple lines fixed? What are you going to do about the fat?" So daughter...I am setting a wonderful example for you right now. The example being "Only try to change the things that you can pay to fix", oh and I might need to add Lipo to my list of fixables.

Celebrity my *BEEP*

If you know me at all, you know I am a major celebrity gossip junkie. I buy People magazine on a regular basis (still can't commit myself to the $60 yearly rate though), I watch celebrity Extra all the time. I am usually minor obsessed with what they are up to and how their lives are going.

HOWEVER...

Lately I am a little disgusted with Celebrity Hype. How many awards shows do you have to have to pat yourself on the back?

I want an Educator Academy Award. And the award for the best comeback to a student comment goes to..., And the award for holding your pee the longest goes to..., And the award for executing with perfection a completely unplanned lesson goes to...
You see what I mean? NO ONE else has so many awards to congratulate themselves for doing...uh...THEIR JOB!

I am also a little angry that in these times, when the economy is horrible and we are all limiting our grocery shopping trips to Mac and Cheese and Raman Noodles, we get people dressing like this...

Now I know Miley is a teen idol, but what the _? And also what is up with this...
Did she clear out the total currency of a third world country for these monstrosities? I think these earrings are worth more than my house!

So celebrities, quit patting yourself on the back because you actually did what you are supposed to do, and quit flaunting your money to the world! I am now boycotting going out to the movies for at least the next week to show my distaste of the status quo. Honestly people quit giving your business to these people. Now I gotta go...Celebrity Apprentice starts in 2 minutes!

I'm NOT Saying That I Am a Slacker, But I Am a Slacker!

I can't believe it has been so long since I posted anything. What can I say other than that I have always been sort of flaky and lazy. It's just that side of my personality coming out. No one should really be surprised about this. However, since I am, in general, such a flake, I do have a multitude of excuses up my sleeve ready to be used at a moments notice. These are my excuses for not posting for a while.
1) My one year old is currently being studied by scientists around the world because he is sooooo smart. I know, it seems crazy, but he is brilliant (and I am NOT being a bragging mom about this :)) They are considering giving me a plaque for my work with him. He is currently repeating everything you say to him. Why just the other day I swear he said "Damn". Haven't I taught him so well? Now if I could just get him to shout it out loud in church he would definitely be the savant I know he is. He is also potty training himself. He came to me just two days ago and asked to be put on the potty, which I did. However, I didn't take his pants off because I thought he was joking. He wasn't. Now if he could just teach his mom how to be smart too.
2) I am 'this close' to getting my first Newberry Medal. I am hard at work on my first YA novel. I've been taking this creative writing class that is just consuming my every moment. Well at least the moments from 8am to 10am on Saturdays. I now have approximately 25 words written already. Whew, it has just exhausted me!
3) I am being considered for the highest award possible in my neighborhood: Most Awesome Mom. I've been pushing my children to become the "popular kids" I always knew they were capable of. They bring friends home every day, and I feed them and let them play questionable video games. This, of course, makes me the "Best Mom" on the block. (jk about the video games being objectionable-I would never allow that)
4) My church calling has just been consuming huge amounts of my time. Especially on those 3 Sundays I have actually made it to church. I tell you, playing the piano for Primary is hard work. I have to really practice at least the 2 to 3 minutes before the kids come in to make it work. It just poops me out. When they come up with some type of honor for doing it, I'm sure it'll be worth it though.
5) My campaign for "Teacher of the Year" is currently underway. I've been trying to keep my sarcastic comments down to just 10 per day, have everything for my lessons ready at least 30 seconds before I start a lesson, and tutor students in my free time. Well, that last one hasn't happened yet because I have no free time, but it is in the works. I'm thinking I'll be ready to start it in just under 2-3 years. So far no awards, but one day, one day, I'll get what's due to me.
So as you can see, I can't help that I haven't posted for a month. My life is complicated and messy. I do vow to start posting more regulary again. Of course, I am a slacker, so you really shouldn't count on it. Blogger of the year just isn't on my agenda right now, what with all the other awards I'm trying for. Anyway...Cross your fingers for me! I'm sure my time is coming.

What I've Been Up To

1 entire roll of unrolled toilet paper...$0.90
1 box of cereal emptied all over the kitchen floor...$3.95
1 tube of little girls lipgloss drawn on carpet...$2.95
1 entirely unraveled brand new package of dental floss...$1.88
1/2 bottle of hand santizer to clean the kitchen table...$2.50
3 children's books ripped to shreads...$24.00
An 18 mo. old being able to accomplish this in a one week period of time...priceless

A Couple of Bucket List Additions

These little updates will be popping up here and there on how I'm doing so far in the bucket list. No cross offs yet, but a couple of additions.
21. Go through the temple with my husband...again. Confession time is that we haven't been back to the temple together since we got married. Hopefully we will go back one day.
22. Get a bigger, nicer, more fun house. (I know it is kind of worldly, but I would love to be able to fit a pool table or ping pong table in my house one day. This will never happen in my current house.)

Flu Fun!

Today is the last day of Christmas Break. I can't say that I am especially sad to see it gone. We really didn't DO anything this break. We had the usual Christmas fanfare, and went to a movie...but that is about it. To round up the fun my youngest got the stomach flu on New Years night and is just recovering from it today. EWWWW...I swear that this kid has had more stomach flu than the whole rest of our family combined. The interesting thing with this is that the throw up scares me to death. I know, it's crazy, but it seriously doesn't gross me out, it freaks me out. I am truly afraid of this. I told my hubby that this is an honest to goodness phobia for me, and he laughed. However, I looked it up and it is an actual phobia, and is actually in the top 10 phobias that people have. So I am a weirdo, but not, if you know what I mean. This means, if you are ever around me and mention that you have had the pukes, I will back up about 10 steps aways from you, and I won't be joking. It won't be my fault that I treat you like a pariah, I just HATE THROW UP. I've decided that God has given me this little boy who throws up every other week as a way to overcome my fear. If I could just get my breathing under control and stop the anxiety, I would be great. Until then...I will just deal with this horror...and start looking for plastic bubbles on Ebay. The whole hamster wheel thing is starting to sound pretty good right now.
Don't laugh...This could soon be me! Bubble Boy's mom.