I'm NOT Saying That I Am a Slacker, But I Am a Slacker!

I can't believe it has been so long since I posted anything. What can I say other than that I have always been sort of flaky and lazy. It's just that side of my personality coming out. No one should really be surprised about this. However, since I am, in general, such a flake, I do have a multitude of excuses up my sleeve ready to be used at a moments notice. These are my excuses for not posting for a while.
1) My one year old is currently being studied by scientists around the world because he is sooooo smart. I know, it seems crazy, but he is brilliant (and I am NOT being a bragging mom about this :)) They are considering giving me a plaque for my work with him. He is currently repeating everything you say to him. Why just the other day I swear he said "Damn". Haven't I taught him so well? Now if I could just get him to shout it out loud in church he would definitely be the savant I know he is. He is also potty training himself. He came to me just two days ago and asked to be put on the potty, which I did. However, I didn't take his pants off because I thought he was joking. He wasn't. Now if he could just teach his mom how to be smart too.
2) I am 'this close' to getting my first Newberry Medal. I am hard at work on my first YA novel. I've been taking this creative writing class that is just consuming my every moment. Well at least the moments from 8am to 10am on Saturdays. I now have approximately 25 words written already. Whew, it has just exhausted me!
3) I am being considered for the highest award possible in my neighborhood: Most Awesome Mom. I've been pushing my children to become the "popular kids" I always knew they were capable of. They bring friends home every day, and I feed them and let them play questionable video games. This, of course, makes me the "Best Mom" on the block. (jk about the video games being objectionable-I would never allow that)
4) My church calling has just been consuming huge amounts of my time. Especially on those 3 Sundays I have actually made it to church. I tell you, playing the piano for Primary is hard work. I have to really practice at least the 2 to 3 minutes before the kids come in to make it work. It just poops me out. When they come up with some type of honor for doing it, I'm sure it'll be worth it though.
5) My campaign for "Teacher of the Year" is currently underway. I've been trying to keep my sarcastic comments down to just 10 per day, have everything for my lessons ready at least 30 seconds before I start a lesson, and tutor students in my free time. Well, that last one hasn't happened yet because I have no free time, but it is in the works. I'm thinking I'll be ready to start it in just under 2-3 years. So far no awards, but one day, one day, I'll get what's due to me.
So as you can see, I can't help that I haven't posted for a month. My life is complicated and messy. I do vow to start posting more regulary again. Of course, I am a slacker, so you really shouldn't count on it. Blogger of the year just isn't on my agenda right now, what with all the other awards I'm trying for. Anyway...Cross your fingers for me! I'm sure my time is coming.