Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The End is Near!

You gotta love being a teacher during election season. Today was a great day for gossip of the 'National Enquirer'-kind. According to my fifth graders, because Obama won the election, the following things are GOING to happen:
-All illegal aliens are going to be rounded up in a gigantic sting and sent back to their home countries
-World War III is starting tomorrow and it is going to be a nuclear war
-All the troops are coming home from every country they are currently stationed at (this is going to be the cause of the nuclear war)
-No one is going to have any health insurance anymore, except illegal aliens (interesting since all illegal aliens are being sent back to their home countries)
-Obama killed McCain
-Obama is a terrorist and is planning on bombing the White House as soon as he moves in (this seems like a strange move to bomb your place of residence, but he is crazy right :))
-Obama is going to be assassinated in exactly 17 days (don't ask me how this student knows this- Should I be afraid of said student?)
-Obama is changing the name of the United States (they didn't know what he was changing it to though)
-Obama is going to burn all U.S. Flags
-Obama is inviting terrorists to stay at the White House where they will murder the senate and John McCain
and my #1 favorite rumor of the day is... (drum roll please)
-Barack Obama was flying one of the planes that hit into the World Trade Center Towers. (Here is the proof...) :) They were caught a little off guard when I asked how he was still alive today, if he was on one of the planes, but of course that just started more rumors of "magic" and "ghosts".

Now my wonder in all of this is where in the world are they getting this information? At first I just had to laugh as the stories became more and more ridiculous, but after a while, I felt mass hysteria building. I hate these crazy emails that get sent around about the candidates. What was being talked about in elementary school today shows that some people actually believe these crazy things.

So in honor of the crazy political emails, I am starting one of my own. You'll have to let me know if you actually get it. It is going to mention that McCain and Palin are robots which Obama programmed himself just so he would win the election. He got the money for building the robots from the Russians who he is in a secret plot with to destroy the potato crop in Idaho, thus making millions of Americans perish from starvation. I think if I attach a 'God will hate and destroy you' or 'If you love America...' message at the bottom it might actually get sent to every person in America.

Seriously though, I think everyone who is so worried about Obama being President just needs to calm down. All through history we've had good Presidents and bad Presidents and yet the nation has still managed to survive somehow. We have checks and balances in place so that a dictatorship doesn't happen. Everyone take a deep breath and chill.

As for me, I am going to do what I always do when something stresses me out or makes me depressed. I am going to pop in my old episodes of 'The Office' and just be happy that I don't work for Michael Scott or have a desk next to Dwight. Although I would love to hear what Dwight would have to say about all this Obama stuff...

3 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I couldn't agree more. Adam's family don't send me anymore lunatic email because I send them Snopes after every one. The mass histeria makes me crazy.

Strawberry Shortcake said...

A gal from my ward in Alaska kept sending out these crazy emails about how the country was, basically, going to burn in hell if Obama was elected (oh, and he starts the fire). I, like Kristina, sent out a link to snopes. No one has emailed me since... just kidding. I think Glenn Beck is to blame for a lot of the hysteria. I listened to him yesterday and, I have to admit, I was feeling quite terrified. It's so crazy! I don't mind Obama. I honestly don't think he is going to be able to accomplish a quarter of what he says he can because of something called the Constitution and Congress (which is a good thing), but it literally TERRIFIES me the way people are worshiping him. Don't people realize what happens when they start worshiping false idols??? Ever heard of the Nephites? Yeah, most people haven't because they became extinct like the dinosaurs! I just wish people would calm down and go back to church... and watch The Office.

Teresa Jordan said...

Jaymon came home from school and asked the following:

Jaymon: Mom, it is true that Obama wants to make all the black people rich and the white people poor? Does he want all the white people to get poor?
Me: WHAT????!!!
Jaymon: Mom, now that Obama is the president are we going to have to go to school until it is dark and even in the summer too?
Me: WHAT??!!!!
Jaymon: Mom, does Obama kill babies, except not in Utah?
Me: WHAT???!!!!
Jaymon: Mom, does Obama hate Americans because he is a "muslin"?
Me: Ha!Ha!Ha!
Jaymon: I'm scared of Obama mom.
Me: No more school for you!